Days of rest - Biggest Loser

I've lost track of the days but today is March 8th :)
So I consciously took off Saturday, Sunday and Monday (Monday wasn't really planned but it happened that way) from working out after working out 6 days straight, but got back to it tonight and went back to an old standby - the treadmill.

After reading back over my old journal I noticed that I was doing alot on the treadmill even after I started at the gym I always warmed up with the treadmill for awhile first and I was having good success with losing weight.

I only did 2 miles but I did include some inclines and did some jogging and running too.  I felt like I could do more and not sure why I didn't.  I definately need to get in to see my doctor and get the go ahead from him to push myself without worrying about a heart attack. 

Not sure why but I've always wanted to be a runner.  However, I've never felt comfortable running because of my weight.  Thinking people would see me and say "don't bother" or "look at her, she looks ridiculous" also I worried about my knees running with too much weight (I've been told by coaches not to start running until I had lost such and such pounds to save wear and tear on my knees). I wonder what Jillian Michaels would say?? Of course I don't have a staff of doctors and trainers around to watch over me, so hence my hesitation.  However, the few times that I have actually ran outside or on the treadmill (never at the gym, they had cameras and there was usually someone else there nor at home unless I was alone because I prefer no one to be around when I do) I've loved it.  I love the way it feels and I love it when I feel strong.  

I'm so anxious for spring and clear roads.  I probably still won't run in public much lol, at least not at first.  But I'm determined that by this summer, I will be running a couple of days a week and hopefully I will be able to go further than from one electricity pole to another before having to walk for a break.  By July I want to be running one mile, maybe I can do it sooner!.

I just love The Biggest Loser, they inspire me so much!  They all work hard and even though I feel partial to the black team I'm excited to see them all doing so good.

Food today:
B: protein shake
S: fruit snacks
L: PB on crackers (on a field trip and my bread at home went bad so no sandwiches), apple, pretzels
S: small sandwich from store and harvest chips
D: 1 c. pasta, chicken breast with sauce and a bit of provolone cheese
S: fudgcicle, pretzels

Alot of carbs today :(

Activity today:
44 minutes on the treadmill
approx 25 min. leg lifts and crunches

Looking forward to tomorrow and working out!

checking in March 6th

Not sure of the day lol, and too tired to go check my log book.
Soooo, I've decided not to track the weight on the scale for awhile as its just frustrating me and creating a negative energy (which will not help).  Instead, I am going to focus on living my life each day as a healthy lifestyle living person would.

The Law of Attraction works best when you focus on the end results you want and letting go of the process to get there.  The best way and fastest way to get the life you want is to start living it anyway.

Each day I will strive to make healthy choices in the foods I eat, following serving sizes not package sizes. Why do so many foods and drinks we buy in convenient stores often give you 2 to 3 servings per package - are there really many of us that will share them with one or two friends or split the contents into 2 to 3 separate containers for later servings?? Not many I'm guessing.  So all the more reason to plan my meals and carry single serving snacks with me so I'm never at the mercy of a convenience store purchase.  I will continue to drink my water and strive to increase that to be sure I stay properly hydrated.  I will try to make my workouts count more times than not.  I really do not like the word "try" but still I have to be realistic.  I'm a mom, a business owner, 42 and very much overweight - there are going to be days I just don't feel like pushing it hard and that's okay.  As long as I can tip the scale (no pun intended) in my favor the majority of the time, believe in myself, and live as if.... I will get there.

Days 60-62 ......

Day 60
B: Kashi Go Lean w/ skim
L: turkey mini burgers w/ fries and salad bar at Ruby Tuesday
S: Protein bar, String Cheese
S: Pink Lady Apple my fav :), almonds
D: Turkey Burger lol (just now getting to dinner at almost 9pm).
Think I'll actually be able to make it through the day without more chocolate (other than what covered my protein bar) that is a big accomplishment as I've been craving chocolate alot lately and been giving into it.

Workout: Jari Love Get Ripped DVD using 10, 8, 5 and 2 pound weights.   I went a little lighter on DBs for some of the sets than I've done in the past and a little heavier on some others.  I've been wondering if I over did it with my workouts a few weeks ago and that is why I got so tired and achey at times the last few weeks.  I'm feeling better now so I'm starting out a little lighter and will work my way back up.  Just because I can lift heavier doesn't mean my body wants to do a whole workout like that just starting out.  I can't wait to start feeling and seeing muscle definition :) once I get into a good groove.

Day 61:
Went to breakfast with my Dad for his birthday :)
B: eggs, homefries and toast
L: Ramen noodles (bad choice but I was running out the door :( ),
S: Pretzels, snack size snickers (ugh)
D: 2 Fajitas, Orange
S: Smoothie (yogurt and cherry)

Workout:
3 Miles Walk Away the Pounds, 30 wall pups

Day 62: I had planned to do a 24 hour fast but changed my mind after getting a divination message that I needed more calories from protein and carbs to get myself losing again.
B: Smoothie
S: RF String cheese, almonds (100 calorie pack)
L:  I planned a lite lunch of salad greens and shrimp due to the planned fast.  So by the time 2pm rolled around and I was getting to wanting lunch after deciding not to do a fast, did I go for my salad and shrimp.  NOPE I went the complete other direction and ordered Domino's pizza.  

Honestly not sure what is wrong with my head lately.  Laziness? frustration? gluttony?

I feel like I shouldn't even be blogging right now because my head is crazy with this back and forth shit, one day I'm on plan, the next I'm completely off.  One week I'm doing good with solid food and exercise, the next I'm doing two fasts and skipping a workout.  I'm saying one thing and doing another. Wanting one thing but doing actions that won't get me there.  Being hard on myself and the next making excuses.  I know better than this, I'm going crazy I swear ughhhhhhhhhh